bitchfest, not to be confused with beerfest

Colds suck.. a lot..

Now that that's out of the way, I'd like to complain some more.

First off, summer is being a pest. I don't want a job, but I need one, but the places I try are not hiring, but I'm near broke..

Secondly I'm so bored lately that I could explode, but I'm not really wanting to hang out with people, at least I don't want to enough that I don't want to call anyone, I'd definitely hang out if someone came to me. Call me a lazy bitch, cause I am, but I'm the kind of person that's usually content enough, if bored, on my own so that I don't always think to see what friends are up to =/

Third: I'm getting a little depressed. Not like.. seriously depressed, but just.. I got sick of being single at least 2 years ago, but I don't know what I want to do.. I'm also tired of being on a general ignore list, not really, but ya know.. I'm never the focus of attention unless I'm being sat on or insulted, and although it's lighthearted and you all mean well (I think), it's getting quite old. Now I know Jarid you might think this is targeting you, but it really isn't at least not exclusively, but mostly I'm getting a bit fed up with the general practice then any certain person.
The worst part of all this is I don't want to call anyone on it. I don't want to be "that guy" that spoils the fun and acts like a big bitch. I also don't want to have someone else be the person to say "yeah chance doesn't want to say anything but he really hates it when..."

I guess it's just that time again, when the "pick on chance" game just gets to be too much, I bitch at everyone, and then it stops for a few weeks and starts to build back up.. but I really don't want that.. at all.. I also don't want it to be gone altogether either, cause I know it's amusing and all that, and it's part of that friendship thing to pick on one another and wrestle and what not.. but from my perception, it's completely one-sided.

I'd really like to talk to people about it in person, but there's a lot of people I'd have to talk to, and I think some of them wouldn't care, or at least would act like they didn't. Also, I'm not sure if it's gotten to that point yet.. perhaps I'll start talking about it here and there where it suits me..

Sorry for bitching, but I might explode if I don't, also.. thanks Maddy for letting me know that it bothered you the other day, feels good to have some support ^_^